Exersizing till you almost pass out, counting cals like a crazy person and avoiding all high fat foods... well just food in general really lol. i want results and i want results now!! lol. but its not going to happen like that unfortunately. Dad wants to go to ocean spa with me and the kiddies but i dont really want to go. so not ready to wear a bathing suit in front of people so looks like ill pass on that lol.

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

This is kind of perfect really since i want to dye my hair pink XP

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Even if the voices aren't real - they've got some great ideas

And nothings changed. i hate my body.. still lol. no support or what ever where i used to live. so i moved down south. So im staying with my dad. Working out daily, counting Cals and hes being a big support lol. finally someone who doesnt give a shit bout me trying to hard lol. anyways yea just got to find someone i can really talk to now.

I Finally convinced mother darling (boss) to let me have more then the statutory holidays off. so shes given me about 2 weeks. so i have to go spend xmas day with Jarryds Family... this should be interesting. Im sure his mother hates me. She doesnt think Jarryd and i will last long even though we are living together. She doesnt want us buying a house together - wonder why *rolls eyes*. And my parents have been nothing but supportive to both of us - treating us as equals. yet everytime time theres a serious discussion involving what Jarryd and I are supposed to do - i am never included. she just tells him what to do and wont let him make up his own mind. and shes hassling me about my "diet" (its sorta a cover) . that bloody woman how would she know! she doesnt see me like i do. she doesnt even know me! So because of her nosey-ness i am definatly going to stick this out.

woot! I know it may not seem alot to most of the people that read this - but for me this is great. i just extreme dieted for 1 week (which i only lost 2 kgs)then went back to eating normal (just to shake up my system) and lost 3. so next week extreme diet again and so on and so forth. every body is going to get so fat over christmas on theyre boxes of chocolate and xmas pudding and i will be sitting in the corner with my celery sticks giggling to myself about how fat they all are going to be muhahaha. 50 ks on the excercycle again tonight - should be fun lol :D

I DID THE 50 Ks!!!! i feel so exhausted but in a good way. i wonder how many cals i burned off?? but i did it! i didnt think i could! but i did! and now im going to sleep. GOOD NIGHT!!!

Ahhhh shit buckets today was a "swing day" god i hate myself - im weighing in at 67 kgs... i went up a kg - (for u AmCans thats 147 pounds.) i feel like a fat tub of lard. But im Doing 50 Kilometers(once again for u AmCans that 31.Miles) on my excercycle tonight - i got 33.3 kms down only another 17 to go. If anyone wants to talk gimme a yell on on msn (tigerteen@hotmail.com) o god i need to talk to someone desperately. Some one get me back on track - im slipping off!!!!!!

Yay!!! now i can finally excerize lots - finally got an excercycle so im going to try 50 ks a day. (which is alot for me) but lucky i got it - cuz this afternoon a had a bit of a 'smoke' and got the munchies bad and had some CHOCOLATE ='( someone help me get back on track!!!!! if you want to be friends - comment and i will add you.

Stuck here listening to bill hicks making jokes.. not by choice i assure you. im not remotely interested in what hes saying even tho my b.f is pissing him self laughing at it.. im just sitting here... numb... writing in here. no emotion. no nothing. i just want to sleep. ive never felt this lonely whilst sitting next to someone.

anyways. my diet hopefully should be working i got saw arms from doing push ups. guess i gotta do some sittups now huh. i would really like a diet buddy to talk to - this is so stupid. i apoligize for my rambolings but i need to say something before i explode... funy how that is.

Im sure Jarryd thinks that i am slowely going insane. he wants me back to normal. but back to normal means back to being fat... its not an option!!!!

god someone help. I think my b.f thinks im going insane cause ive started eating less... and less... and less. im trying so hard to loose weight but my effort is never good enuff.. the most ive lost in the shortest time is 9 kgs in 4 days... but that was cuz i was really sick (not by choice)and had to go into hospital.
ive put that weight back on and im completely freaking - and because im freaking im tryna stop eating. is there anyone who can help me? i need to loose more weight now!